Friday, 13 April 2012

All eyes on me

When I'm not at Uni, my home is situated in a little village that no one has ever heard of. The people that live here all know each other, and everyone is related to one another. People's lives round here are like an open book; everyone knows exactly what someone is up too, who they are going out with, who they are friends with, and that scares me. Like beyond belief.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm in Coronation Street. If I got a new boyfriend, or started hanging round with new people, or I did something really shocking, peoples curtains would be twitching with the anticipation of change. Many people are happy with this, and love nothing better than to participate in sharing other people's lives in a snippet of gossip with their neighbors.

For me though, I can't think of anything worse. I don't want my life publicized to the whole village, and I certainly don't want everything I do to be the subject of someone else's entertainment. Whatever happened to tact and privacy? Even coming back here every other weekend for my job is enough to break me into a cold sweat. Constant questions about what I'm going to do when I finish Uni, do I have a boyfriend, am I worried that I won't get a job? Seriously, I swear these people relish in seeming to want to know all the ins and outs of my private life. At first, I quite like filling people in on what I've been up too, but after a while I feel like I'm at a job interview.

The reason I'm writing all this is because in just over a month, I finish University forever, and this little village is where I'll be coming back to live for the next year.

Don't get me wrong; it's not a bad place to live. There aren't hooligans and knife crazed gangs or anything like that, but it makes me feel all closed in when I think about coming back here to live. I've got used to my independence and privacy, and I don't want to come back to something that I had when I was 18.

I'm nearly 22, and I'm full of ambitions and dreams. Half the people round here are in dead end jobs, living on council flats and are on benefits. Where's the fun in that? What's the hurry to grow up? I don't want to he tied down with a baby and shit loads of baby sick at 21 years old.

Life is for living, and that's what I intend to do. I'm going to break free from the norm of being a teen mum, and really make something of myself. I will live in this Big Brother village for the next year, but don't expect me to like it.

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