Here's to the last 3 years..

Three years at University has finally come to an end, and I don't think it's sunken in just yet. It still feels like only yesterday I was moving into halls and making new friends, and now here I am, three years later, with only two weeks left in the city I've called home since 2009. I've had my fair share of ups and downs, but I've made some of the most amazing friends and made some fantastic memories, and they are ones that I'll never forget. I honestly didn't realize how hard it would be to say goodbye to everyone, but the time is finally here and I'm afraid I'm going to be a bit of an emotional wreck. Now, it's time to start a new chapter in my life and make the most of every opportunity that comes my way. So here's to the past three amazing years, to the wonderful friends I've made, the many, many messy nights out, the memories, the laughs and to the city I have called home since I was 19; you have been truly fantastic.

I don't want to grow up

I'm going to say it right now; I do not want to grow up. I don't want to be bogged down with a million bills to pay, young children running riot and never having time to do anything remotely fun. If I'm honest, I can't see myself ever having kids; I'm just really not the maternal sort. I don't go all gooey over a newborn baby, in fact the sight of one makes me want to vom. Toddlers annoy me with their constant screaming when I'm trying to do my weekly food shop, and don't even get me started on young teenagers trying to act older than they actually are. I guess I'm a little hard hearted when it comes to children, but then again I am only 21. Half of the girls I went to secondary school with are already on their second child, and are getting engaged/married and living in a council house. Where is the rush to grow up and become a proper adult? At the moment, I just want to concentrate on me and my ambitions, and just live my life to the full.

I'm enjoying having fun and just concentrating on myself at the moment. When I look to the future, I don't see children in my life. I see me spending time with my friends, working at my dream job, possibly being married and being able to have the chance to drink cocktails at trendy clubs whenever I want. After speaking to my lecturer today, she has fully confirmed how much I do not want to have children. I'm still a kid at heart, and some days I just want act like the immature person I can be. I have so many dreams and ambitions, and they will continue to grow as I steadily get older. I can't see me being stuck in one place for too long, paying bill after bill after bill, and growing resentful and bitter because I'm not out there seeing the world. I get itchy feet, and I want to be on the road all the time.

When I'm 80, I want to be able to look back at my younger years, smile and say "I had so much fun."

I want...

I want to graduate from University with a really great grade. I want to make sure my parents are forever happy & healthy. I want to move to New York. I want to snag my dream job. I want to go travelling. I want an internship at American Glamour. I want to meet Kate Winslet and Jennifer Aniston. I want a Fiat 500. I want to win the lottery. I want to break free. I want to be able to sing. I want to visit the Hollywood Walk of Fame. I want to do something completely out of the ordinary. I want to go on a road trip. I want to meet a really great guy. I want to stop worrying about every little thing. I want to be a size 10. I want to visit the Maldives. I want to go swimming with dolphins. I want to go on the Ellen show. I want to be able to walk in heels. I want to have no regrets, no what ifs & no should haves and could haves. I want to make an impact. I want to be remembered for every little thing I do throughout my life. I want to be remembered for just being me.

What do you want out of life?

Kate Winslet

Can I just be her please?

Let me shop!

I'll happily admit this right now; I think I have a shopping addiction. I can spend money like it's going out of fashion, even when I'm completely skint. Now my student loan has arrived and is sitting prettily in my bank, I have even more reason to buy more pretty things to add to my ever expanding wardrobe. This is what I am currently coveting;

All eyes on me

When I'm not at Uni, my home is situated in a little village that no one has ever heard of. The people that live here all know each other, and everyone is related to one another. People's lives round here are like an open book; everyone knows exactly what someone is up too, who they are going out with, who they are friends with, and that scares me. Like beyond belief.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm in Coronation Street. If I got a new boyfriend, or started hanging round with new people, or I did something really shocking, peoples curtains would be twitching with the anticipation of change. Many people are happy with this, and love nothing better than to participate in sharing other people's lives in a snippet of gossip with their neighbors.

For me though, I can't think of anything worse. I don't want my life publicized to the whole village, and I certainly don't want everything I do to be the subject of someone else's entertainment. Whatever happened to tact and privacy? Even coming back here every other weekend for my job is enough to break me into a cold sweat. Constant questions about what I'm going to do when I finish Uni, do I have a boyfriend, am I worried that I won't get a job? Seriously, I swear these people relish in seeming to want to know all the ins and outs of my private life. At first, I quite like filling people in on what I've been up too, but after a while I feel like I'm at a job interview.

The reason I'm writing all this is because in just over a month, I finish University forever, and this little village is where I'll be coming back to live for the next year.

Don't get me wrong; it's not a bad place to live. There aren't hooligans and knife crazed gangs or anything like that, but it makes me feel all closed in when I think about coming back here to live. I've got used to my independence and privacy, and I don't want to come back to something that I had when I was 18.

I'm nearly 22, and I'm full of ambitions and dreams. Half the people round here are in dead end jobs, living on council flats and are on benefits. Where's the fun in that? What's the hurry to grow up? I don't want to he tied down with a baby and shit loads of baby sick at 21 years old.

Life is for living, and that's what I intend to do. I'm going to break free from the norm of being a teen mum, and really make something of myself. I will live in this Big Brother village for the next year, but don't expect me to like it.

picture perfect